Vegas Baby???

A few weeks ago, Doug told me he has to go on a business trip to Las Vegas in January or February. I was a little jealous that he was getting to go away for a few days and he was going to Vegas. We have never been to Vegas together. We talked about how cool it would be if I could join him, even if it was just for a night or two.

Well Doug comes home from work last night and presents me with an opportunity to join him on his business trip to Vegas. His sister is willing to watch all 3 kids overnight. So I could fly out mid-morning and return back the next day sometime. Enough time for us to do some sightseeing, have a nice dinner and see a show. I quickly became very excited! Oooohh!! VEGAS BABY!!

But within a few minutes another feeling took over...minor anxiety, tight stomach, nervous, all with a hint of panic. I can't be away from my kids that long! I had to take a moment to ponder what I was feeling. Seriously?

Yes, I am a master of complaint. Whining about how I never get any time to myself since I became a stay at home mom. I have no friends to hang out with regularly. I can't do things that I want to do, like surf or snowboard or even just go shopping. I never get any decent amount of sleep. Some days, I am begging for 15 minutes of peace where someone does not need to be fed, someone is not fighting or I am not dealing with poop. Fifteen minutes of quiet. I am with these three little beings 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Sometimes it is enough to drive me insane.

Yet, at the same time, I am with these three little beings 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I love them more than heaven and earth combined. I feel like I can't breathe when I am away from them for any length of time. I don't want to say that I am one of those moms who has lost herself in her children, but I sort of am. Really, how can you not be, when all of your days encompass caring for them.

After the kids went to bed last night, we sat on the couch and talked for a while. Talked about work, our days, family, etc. We came back around to the Vegas subject and I admitted that I was unsure if I really could leave them. Doug questioned me as to why. Was I nervous to leave them with his sister? No. I know they will be loved and well taken care of with her. Was it my fear of flying? A little, but no. Doug and I would be on separate flights, surely one of us will survive. It boils down to the fact of being physically being apart from them for more than 24 hours.

So, will I go? I really don't know. I keep telling myself it will be easier to be away when they are older. Doug says it will get easier the more times I do it. I might agree with that statement. We laugh, and he says he's thankful he has a penis. But when I look at him and tell him I am really not sure if I can do it, he says it's ok.